Father Xmas has abandoned his sleigh in favour of a Quingo Plus mobility scooter.
Santa is quoted as saying “We all have to move with the times and modernise. The Quingo is considerably safer and more manoeuvrable than my rickety old sleigh ever was and, being electric powered, is much ‘cleaner’ to run. I have offered the herd early retirement with a generous pasture allowance.”
Rudolph, Donner and Blitzen were said to be “disappointed” in his decision to no longer use their services.
The ETWU (Elf Toy Workers Union) voiced their concerns about the increasing outsourcing of manufacturing to Chinese suppliers. Claus Holdings GmbH closed 5 points up on the Dow Jones on release of this news.